Before you

I’m filled with all these bitter feelings
I am groaning under the weight
Of my emotions
And though you seem to crush me
Into the ground
With the weight of your holiness
And expectation
I still don’t know where to find you
I don’t know where you live
I want to stand up to you
Before you
And argue my case
I don’t deserve this life
And your reply?
What would I make of answers?
Your judgement
Your voice destructive
For the audacity of standing up to you
And before you
Surely you’d spare my life
Because you are just and righteous
As I prove my innocence
Before you
Standing up to you
My life is not my fault
But I can’t find you
Or catch sight of you
I’ve searched the temple and the church
The great outdoors
The quiet of my room
The quiet of my heart
I see no evidence of you
Or for you
God, you have made my heart blind
From the fear of you
Yet I will find a way
Out of the darkness
To stand
Before you
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